I feel like the world I grew up in gave me false expectations. As many know I grew up in what I consider the most beautiful place on Earth. I grew up in the 80’s, the world was so different.
I recently had a disagreement with a car dealer, because when I was young the car dealers I knew gave loaner vehicles. I recently was so angry and infuriates at a school principle because I know for a fact none of the Principals (ok maybe Charles Finley but he sucked) would have had the same issue, and they dealt with three times as many kids. ..
I am constantly left with this feeling of being let down stores are different, customer service is different , small towns are different.. Republicans are Democrats and Democrats are Republicans.. Presidents are slime balls… PG is now what R was.. R is what x was… Churches preach hate.. Schools aren’t safe ..
No.. the world I grew up in did not prepare me for this.
Big things Poppin…
Recently I was given the opportunity to become re-invigorated about working via the web as a virtual assistant. This means I have once again locked in http://www.quitok.net as a domain name, and will be using it for most of my online business presence. I will also be making a wordpress account for quinet so as to get the name out there. I am excited. I have signed up with Fiverr ( although I find most of their job offers to be lacking. It seems they want a full time assistant at part time virtual assistant prices) I will not be offering web hosting as I just lost too much money there, but I will be offering consultations and some design aspects. Most assuredly I will be telling people about E107 because I believe it’s pretty much the best website CMS option available.
Keep an eye out for Quinet on WordPress.
I recently had the chance to undergo 90 days of life coaching with CoachMouseWilson, and I can’t say enough good things. I feel better than I have in many years, I found out my insurance offers a free gym membership and am happy to say I have been going as much as my busy schedule will allow. I am attempting to improve my physical health, and financial health, so that I can improve my mental health. A balance if you will of all things.
I have been working steadily as a VA for Magic the friendly tavern, and I do plan on leaving a links here to these places I mentioned. I am pretty happy right now, and that’s kind of unusual.
Thanks for reading. Much love.
Sometimes, it’s just not cool being me.
In case you haven’t read my blog in a while, and let’s face it no one does. I have been a moderator in a couple groups in Facebook. I have noticed a heck of a trend.
You see these groups have a central chat area (a Fbook messenger group) for their moderators and administrators to discuss things going on in the group, or just chat with each other. Here lately I have noticed that whenever there is chat going on I can say something in the chat and immediately everyone goes quiet.
It’s like a whole string of people chatting and I say something like Hi everyone, or some such and nothing.. Everyone just stops talking. Or I can ask for assistance on a post in the group, same thing everyone goes radio silent until I go away, or at least stop talking. It’s getting a bit wearisome. I mean I thought “Hey, these are my peeps, we can talk,. ” Uhhh.. nope they can talk but if I do it kills the chat.
I’ve noticed the same with the Hellkatz lately, if I say something it just goes unnoticed. Maybe I just don’t have peeps. Maybe I’m just.. a chat killer. Like I can imagine me walking into heaven and all the angelic choir just screeches to a halt . Idk man.. I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut from now on I guess.
Old and Ugleh
Went to my 18 year olds graduation recently, and he told his mom he wanted to speak to her alone. He proceeded then to tell her that I was harassing a girl he knew, and trying to break her and her fiance up. Said he saw screenshots of me being a perv.
Here’s the thing. Yes I said IF anything ever happens between the two of them the wife and I would likely be interested in having her as a third in a triad closed poly relationship.
I don’t want to break them up. All I’ve ever wanted for any of my friends is for them to be happy. As far as cheating on my wife, I don’t cheat and I don’t have to. She has told me before I just have to ask permission but I am more interested in a closed poly triad. Someone for both of us. Stepson said she said I wouldn’t leave her alone. That I was creeping her out. I can see that. I’m old. Maybe to old to be looking for a girlfriend for wifey and I. I am fat, and I am ugly. I get it. I just wish I had known I was bothering her.
Oh well. Henceforth I shall wait until the chat bubble pops up. That way I know I am not bothering her.
.
Talking to myself in public..
‘ I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell’
Today I logged on to Facebook and in the group I help moderate was a reported post. I was inclined to remove it based on the gutteral language it used. Instead I left it for other mods. The last time I mentioned foul language on the group I got laughed at. It made me think.
Language can be a form of art, it is definitely a form of expression. Why then, not attempt, to use synonyms and antonyms, euphemism, words that aren’t simply just thrown about randomly. While I can use language that (as the old saying goes) would make a sailor blush with shame, I don’t feel the need to most of the time.
Why not use beautiful language and help the world around us a bit. Eh, who knows.. Just here talking to myself. I do that a lot lately. No one reads, or cares enough to respond. It’s like in the modmin chat for the group on Facebook. When I speak the conversation goes away. *Sigh*
“I’m just a little unwell”
Fathers Day
To any fathers that read my largely unused blog. Happy Fathers day.
Today is a two edged sword for me. On one hand I am so happy to be a father. I got a hug and an “I love you Daddy” from my baby boy today and that was great. Then I lay here wishing I could hug my father and tell him I love him. It bothers me every year.
In other news I thought I had found a Facebook group I could be a part of. I was even a moderator for a while, made a friend I was feeling super close too, but then my wife made a Facebook post saying she wasn’t going to get vaccinated for covid and this “friend” went totally insane. She completely removed me from all social media, then a few weeks later accused me of harassing her. I left the group. She was an admin and obviously hated me for my wife’s decision.
I guess I was just never meant to fit in anywhere.
Any way HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving 2020… (Warning not happy or Thankful)
Maybe a little thankful, thankful I finally figured out how to log in again.
Let’s hit the ground rolling. How has 2020 treated you? At this point in the year maybe we should all take a moment and just be thankful we are alive. Let’s face it. Tons aren’t. I didn’t lose anyone personally to the virus but hey… It’s not new years yet right? Sheesh.
Honestly, I would have blogged but I guess I spent most of the time since my las blog with my head planted squarely up my rectum not remembering my login information. Lucky for me it came to me in a dream…. Well.. a nightmare really, I had this dream that I had let my dog out on his lead but in this dream (not in real life but in this dream) there was a black and white pit bull running loose in the neighbourhood and for whatever reason it was vicious (and in this dream thia had been an on going problem for a couple months at least) anyway my dog was out on the lead and I was in looking through papers (cue the log in info for wordpress) wife and I get into a tiff about the dog being outside alone (as she is warning me about the pit) so she goes to check on him I follow her out to argue and she tells me to make sure our youngest goes right back in immediately.. I get over and .. Let’s leave it at it’s a truly gruesome sight. I awaken.. Heart pounding..tears rolling down my cheeks .. Trying to find my dog (he is fine by the way cuddled at the foot of my bed) Chest literally hurting. That was over 4 hours ago folks. I have taken 6 milligrams of Melatonin, 800 Milligrams of Ibuprofen, and 40 Milligrams of Baclofen. I still can not go back to sleep.
What’s worse this dream had one of those .. It’s hard to describe almost like it should have had an announcer at the beginning going “boys and girls in our last dream….” Like Still I close my eyes and get flashes of a dream reality that does not exist. There is no fence outside and my wife has no little dog people could run off with..
Of course she is asleep, I have no one to talk too. I need someone to talk too. Sometimes folks… I feel very..very alone. People say they are going to be there…. And they simply aren’t.
Eh..Is what it is right? Jave you ever had a “in our last dreamisode kids” dream? What was it like?
Happy oppress the natives day. Be well.
Much love
This hurts.
There is a scene in Star Trek:Voyager where 7 of 9 displays an emotional response to the death of a futuristic borg drone, as he dies she says “Stop it, you are hurting me” -view here-
I spoke with my lawyer yesterday and his learned opinion is that going to court would be disasterous for me. Thus, in 7 days I will walk into a court room and agree to a plea agreement. I will be incarcerated. There are no more loopholes or ways to extend it.
Now, everytime I see my baby boy I think about the fact in a few days I will be unable to see him, to hear him, to kiss his booboo’s and make him feel better. Two months.. Three months… Two hours.. Two seconds.. Its far too long.
I will go away from my wife… My boys.. My life… Will the love I have given them be enough to last them?
Everytime I see my baby boy, My wife and kids, … It hurts me… Just like Seven of Nine.
Little things…
I do my best to refrain from being materialistic. I do my best to teach my son the same. Still sometimes I get rather annoyed. The two older boys get spoiled rotten on their birthdays. Hundreds of dollars spent by grand parents and others. Here Lil John is, turning four and we are in no financial shape to do anything for his birthday. Even a cake is out of our price range. Today we are told by the one grandparent he sees regularly that she will do nothing for his birthday. I feel like total shit. Sure he’s only four but just last month his brother was spoiled with two cakes, toys, ice cream etc… It’s annoying when the youngest has a different father than the oldest two and that father (me) is apparently a piece of shit.
April Fools!
I live in the South Eastern part of the United States of America. Here in the good old United States it is April First a day that we ‘Muricans like to call “April Fools day” the idea is that you play small jokes on your friends in order to cause mirth and delight. Today was a day that I guess the world decided to play a trick on me.
On Friday, I received my disability check early. ( A rare occurrence to be sure.) On Saturday , after paying bills we had just a little money left over and as we often do we decided to go see if we could find some cheap thing to enjoy at a local yard sale. So out we go, in our van to enjoy a yard sale. When we pull into the yard sale we are informed our tire is flat. So I drop down the spare tire from under the van and guess what… It’s flat too. What a great day. ( Of course at this point we only have $7.00 left) So we end up buying a can of “Fix-A-Flat” which of course doesn’t work. We limp home, no money left, with the tire completely flat.
Alas this morning I sold some stuff, and was able to come up with the money for a “New” used tire. Using a friends air compressor I aired up the flat tire to where I thought it would be able to hold and get us to the tire place. We drive two minutes down the road… flat tire.. Air it back up.. two minutes down the road.. flat tire. This goes on about three more times. Finally we pull over in the parking lot of a church and the tire is no more. It had ceased to be.
So there it is, life ” Hey air this tire up and drive to get another” me “ok” Life “HAHAHAHA APRIL FOOLS!!!!!”
Alas I did what any person would do when stuck on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere with their wife and child in the vehicle. I took my tire off, picked it up, and started walking the five or so miles I had left to the tire place. Let me tell you, it is no easy feat to carry a tire five miles down a back country, curvy road. On the last leg a nice couple did pick me up and drive me the last 1,000 feet or so, and gave me a ride back. That was nice. A true blessing. I did get the tire, and got it back on the car, and was able to make it home.
I wonder how much longer my life will be this way. Honestly, I have skills that can be used to make money and improve my family. Everyone knows I have a gift of language arts surely that could be used for something. No, no I know. Writers and poets are only famous after their death. I could never be an English/Language arts teacher. ( No place would hire me for that. Not to mention that is not a year round job.) I have many computer skills, I can build nice looking websites, and have webmastered a few times. I know things about the internet and enjoy working on and for it. Still, no jobs there really. My skills are more mental than physical, but of course I can do some physical labour ( Although I do abhor it) Also at this point I am just a few months away from likely jail time.
I don’t know, it seems right now that I end up dealing with April Fools day every day. I guess this is just the way it is.
I hope you have all had a great April Fools day, and a wonderful month. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Sincerely
~Drk
Drkvamp's Tavern 